Friday, October 29, 2010

The Dead Zone

Only dried stems of lilies remain in The Dead Zone.
Hello, readers, is I, Sasha Fatál, Mistress of Slightly Overcast, here to tell you Halloween Horror story.  Is all more terrifying because is true.  Mr. McGregor's Daughter types while I tell story.
What? You think I have funny accent?  I've been told I sound like cartoon character who chases moose and squirrel.  Nonsense.  I sound like female Svengoolie.   I've also been told I could be mistaken for Elvira in very dark alley on moonless night during power outage.  But I have strayed from path (always bad thing to do)! Back to story. Beware, this is tale of tribulations and tears.

It all begins on dark and stormy night.  Well, no, it wasn't.  It was winter, and blizzard was sweeping across frozen tundra.  Okay, no tundra in Chicago suburbs, but was cold, and a gardener, call her "MMD," was dreaming of spring with a plant catalogue.  Wouldn't it be wonderful, she thought, to have Cornus kousa on south side of driveway to make shade for cars.  So, MMD ordered 'Beni Fuji'.
Time goes by, snow melts, little tree arrives.  MMD goes out to plant it.  She looks at ground and smiles.  (Poor misguided fool! Hah!)  Lots of weeds in lawn.  MMD knows if weeds grow well, soil is good.

She digs hole, kills grass and weeds with newspaper.  She puts down mulch.  Little tree grows.  Not much, but it lives through next winter.  But tree is lonely.  MMD gets rose to keep it company.  Then she gets lavender to keep rose company.  It starts to look like garden.

Move ahead to warm day, late summer.  MMD finds treasure at garden center, Eryngium 'Jade Frost'.   Does she need plant? Hah, who cares!  She gets plant, brings it home and must find place for it.  She thinks, aha, perfect place behind 'Beni Fuji'.  (That's what she thinks, but she is wrong, you find out later.)  MMD expands bed, puts in mowing strip, plants Eryngium in fall.

Eryngium survives winter and grows.  It blooms beautiful blue.  It looks sad and lonely.  MMD knows what's wrong.  It needs two friends.  Ah, you catch on fast - yes always three in stories.  But does MMD run out to get more right away?  No, she thinks that can wait.  And so fall comes, then winter with lots of snow.  And then spring, starts to rain.  It rains and rains and rains.   So, in June, she get two more Eryngium and plant them in nice way behind first Eryngium.  She also got another Geranium 'Bob's Blunder' to go with them.  Bob's blunder was letting MMD buy his plant.  (Hey, no need to throw things, I just tell truth.)  MMD thinks no problem, lots of rain this year.  Poor fool! Bwha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Sure, everything look fine at end of June.
Geranium 'Bob's Blunder' with Hydrangea macrophylla 'PIIHM-I' (Twist-n-Shout)  in front, with  Lilium  'Cobra',  Eryngium 'Jade Frost',  Consolida ambigua (larkspur), and Arrhenatherum elatius bulbosa 'Variegata', backed up by Cornus kousa and 'Hidcote' lavender
But then rain stops, and MMD abandons garden to go to Buffalo.  Big mistake.  First one, then second Eryngium start to struggle.

When she gets back, MMD waters new plants with can filled with rainwater.  Is not enough, but she don't think to get out hose.  By end of July, it looks like this.
'Cobra' lilies bloom while Eryngium 'Jade Frost' struggles
I circle dying Eryngium.  What? You don't like me writing on your photos? Too bad!  Sorry,  I go off path again.  Those lilies MMD planted last fall.

No rain comes.  Ground is parched and cracked.  Finally, MMD gets out hose, gets neighbors' car all wet.  But that's another story.  Too bad is too late for plants.  By fall, is clear Geranium and two Eryngium are dead.  Only one Eryngium lives.  No, is not youngest like in fairy story, is oldest.  See, this true story.

MMD calls it "The Dead Zone," place nothing grows, not even weeds.  (Look at top photo.)   I think is her fault for not watering right, she blames ground.  What do you think?  Is worth it to try again next year the Eryngium?

Anyway, I hope you like story.  Happy Halloween!  Don't eat too many candy corn, they make you sick.

12 comments:

fer said...

hahaha, very funny and spooky story.
Made my day thank you!

fairegarden said...

I LOVE the accent and can hear it quite clearly, with a little Chi town Italian in there too! Poor MMD. Poor dead zone. Give up? Nevah!!! Keep trying, the Eryngiums are short lived at best, even here. Hope for self seeding. :-)
Happy Hallowe'en!
Frances

Gail said...

Dear Mistress Sasha Fatál, It could be a dead zone~How do I know? I have one here in Nashville...It's where all our rain disappeared.
But, tell MMD to keep trying...one never knows what next year will bring and it might be a happy Eryngium. gail

rambleonrose said...

I'm with the other commenters...keep trying! Maybe go for the native species Eryngium yuccifolium. It's not that great blue, I must admit, but it's drought-tolerant.

Kathy said...

Well, they say you must kill a plant 3 times before you can be sure it's not right for your garden. I am not sure if it is 3 times in the same place or 3 times in 3 different places.

Layanee said...

A sad tale for sure and one all gardeners can relate to. Try again and water this time.

xoxoxo said...

Definetly try again! No buffalo for you! Loved the accent, loud and clear Natasha--whoops, I mean Mistress Sasha.

Carol said...

Ack! It is the dreaded dead zone where nothing grows. We can not always blame the gardener! Well, we can, but it isn't always the gardener's fault.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Definitely try again dahling. The drought was not beneficial to any plants.

Monica the Garden Faerie said...

I noticed my sea holly completed disappeared. I thought it liked it dry so I dunno what's up! Or not up, as the case may be.

Mr. McGregor's Daughter said...

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. If spring isn't dry, I'll try again.

Monica - I really think this Eryngium is not a xeric plant, unlike Eryngium yuccafolium.

Commonweeder said...

What a sad story - and what a great narrator. I'm sure rain - or lack thereof - was the problem. The question is will next year bring too much rain?